The Dodo Bird: A Black Male Leader

MISSING: Black Male Leader

When a Black man becomes a leader...all Hell breaks loose. I'm pretty sure no one knows what to do about it. Quite honestly, I think people are so used to the ABSENCE of the Black male leader, that a new one is not welcomed with, "Welcome, we are glad you are here, but faces statements like, "where have you been?" "Where's the rest of you?" "Why do you come not fully prepared?" It's as if people look at the Black male leader with horror and shock? How did you come about? What's the deal with you?

When a Black man becomes a leader...he is guilty until proven innocent. He is the inheritor of all abusive, undervaluing, misogynistic, self-focused leadership that has come before him. A NEW Black male leader is also the uncle that abused you, the pastor that robbed you, the father that ignored you, the hustler on the corner, the man who rejected you romantically. He's the reason the Black family is broken, the incarerated one who sold drugs. The Black male leader is the beggar on the corner drinking a bottle of alcohol telling about what he could've done back in his day. You've already heard his dreams, and have found them wanting. You've heard his schemes, and all you can see is trouble. You've believed in him once already, and that's a shame-on-me (the Black male leader), to do it again is a "shame-on-you." You will not be duped again.

When a Black male becomes a leader...he is never innocent. He sold out to become a leader. He left someone behind, sold out in some way. In fact, when a Black male becomes a leader he is usually accompanied by a white female. This is what we think right? There's no way that a Black man by himself could break out of the drowning enslavement of a lowered identity. He is not an owner of his culture (his fault), and leader is his community (his fault too). He doesn't believe in himself (he's weak), and he can't handle critique from his Black female counterpart (more weakness). So he grabs the hand of a white female savior who won't challenge him (the worst weakness) and abandons the very people who would love him. He's a betrayer of the highest regard.

What happens when the dodo bird, thought to be extinct...what happens when "by happenstance" found one? It's both facinating and scary at the same time right? "It's a miracle!?! Praise God! Or maybe Dawinism? We probably darwinsitic about the discovery of a Black male leader than we do well religious (I'm just saying).

The whole ecosystem has adjusted to work without him present, and everybody has moved on, only to talk about him in printed books, mistake him for a toucan on cereals, and has been found mainly to be mythological and a caricature? "What do we do with him?" "Is he aggressive?" "Does he bite?" "You know, maybe we should put him in a cage in a zoo, because he's endangered, and might die off again..."

Well, the dodo bird has been found to not be extinct...and yes it has had to survive insurmountable odds, and it continues to do so to this very day! Of course, there are more predators that it can count that wants him to go back into extinction, even the very ecosystem that it thrived in at one time, because of how it has evolved, looks at the bird strangely. IT WANTS to bring it back in, but it would mean that the ecosystem has to dramatically change for it to make space for it, and in some ways, it likes the ecosystem it has now. So it aggresses him, even if it doesn't want to, but out of an instinct to survive, it rejects the dodo bird, and that very bird feels at a loss as well. No system seems to fit him, and every ecosystem has aggressive survival instincts and is not really willing to adjust the habitat to let them in.

But the dodo bird wants to thrive and survive as well. The dodo bird wants to share its story of survival as well. It has a story to share. Unconventionally, it has learned to feed itself, fly, and it has become strong. The means of which this bird has developed don't fit your understanding of development because it belongs to a different system. Of course it doesn't speak like you, but BELEIVE ME, IT'S A DODO BIRD. It has the same predators, the same needs for survival, for community, for comfort, for care, and IT CAN LEAD!

So like the dodo bird, how do we invite and welcome the Black male leader to lead again in the ecosystem of this world, of this country, of the church, of the family, of the Black community? I want to know, because I'm here, white wife and all, and I'm not going anywhere.

Would Jesus Say COWABUNGA?

How does one pursue peace together? I'm thinking about that a lot today. I'm searching for peace and the peace of God to emannate my very body, my family life, my personal health, but it just sometimes seems so elusive, and I wonder why.

Recently, I started a bible study called Harambee. The term itself is found on the Kenyan flag and it means, "all pull together." I like the idea of it, but I know and realize that if I attempting to lead and guide a community group that pulls together in the same direction, for the same purposes, given that we are coming from different backgrounds, its not going to be easy. This group is an intentionally multi-ethnic, multi-cultural experience, which means I am inviting into my home debate, pain, hurt, argument, confusion, sadness. You name it, its coming there.

But I can't lie to you, I'm excited..nervous, but excited. See, I'm a little crazy. I'm too vision-centered for my own good. I ACTUALLY believe that this will not only work, but that this group is going to do great things. Really GREAT things. If we as Harambee can become that kind of multi-ethnic, multi-cultural community that pulls not against each other, but for God and for each other, I think we will witness a part of the kingdom of God that we rarely get to see. I'm so drawn by the unknown, the thing that needs so much of our faith to produce, that only faith can make it happen. I've always been like this, since I was a kid, since I came to Iowa City and found myself as a Black man floating in the midst of a world that didn't seem to accomodate my cultural values well.

So we studied Ephesians 2 last night, and I have to admit, it took a lot to get to this study. The active LACK of peace my family has gone through this whole week, while finding myself hours before the study at a courthouse with my wife getting a restraining order for a unruly person, the life around me has been nothing close to peace. But recently, the Lord spoke something really close to my heart, he said, "YOU ARE NOT IN CHAOS, YOU ARE IN CHRIST." It resonated ith me because what I feel is like Peter in the boat and Jesus asking me to come out onto the waves to be with him. I take my step out, but then in order for me to not get caught up in the movement of the water in the ocean, or the wind that's currently blow and could topside any boat, I have to focus on Jesus.

I always wondered, "What would have happened if Peter didn't get afraid of the circumstances aroun him and got to Jesus on top of the water? What if he didn't lose faith and doubt God, but continued to keep his eye focused on the Lord?" I laugh to myself and think about Jesus striking a surfing pose and shouting out "COWABUGA!" Then they would both ride the wave together, the currents and winds creating a unique experience that could be experience if Peter would just have to faith to overcome the windy circumstances and the reality shifting experience of being called out to walk on the water. If only Peter wouldn't have doubted, he would get to shout COWABUNGA with the Lord as well.

I want to shout COWABUNGA with Jesus. Harambee is a faith step to walk out on water and ignore the winds, ACKNOWLEDGE THEM, but not get distracted by it, but to keep such a sharp focus on Jesus, that eventually we won't be just trying to survive the walk, but we would ride the waves with him.

Ephesians 2 says that God has destroyed the dividing walls of hostility and created a new humanity. What if we attempted to live as new humans and pulled together for the kingdom of God? Well, like I said, I'm a vision-centered dreamer, and I'm too hard-headed to not try to see this through.

What does it mean to unite?

That's a real question for me. What does it mean to unite? What does it mean to gather a diasporic community of people, who are related by skin tone, but has never been a part of a community? There's so much going on in our country. The Black Lives Matter Movement communicates the attempts we are making as a people within this society to address the hurt, pain, and disregard we experience with this country.

We hunger for peace, we hunger for a voice, but we also understand that we cannot do this without the help of those standing with us around us. We are all fighting this battle, at least all of the Black people, whether they acknowledge it or not.

Right now, we are starting a Black Campus Ministries (BCM) work at the University of Iowa. e did a BBQ with NAACP and we saw over 100 Black people come out to get BBQ! I've never seen that in my 16 years looking at the University of Iowa. We are planning some BLM forums with NAACP, and as a Christian organization, we cannot ignore the political implications that are affecting the Black community here.

But  recently, there was an article that said Iowa City was the least stressed city in America.  Come again? Now, WHO EXACTLY WAS INTERVIEWED FOR THAT? I question the research data that helped the author and researcher come to that conclusion.

The battle is here just as well. Black community members, students from the college, and faculty are all feeling the effects of marginalization. What I thought that statement meant when I heard we were least stressed was, "Well, all of our minorities are in checked, so you don't have to deal with anxiety issues in that way, PLUS everything accommodates you easily, NO STRESS!"

BCM needed in Iowa City because Jesus cares for the lives of Black people. Would Jesus say that Jewish lives matter? Of course? Would Jesus say that Women's lives matter? Of course. Would he say that Gentiles Lives Matter? Of course. Guess what, Black lives are Gentiles as well!

That's all I got to say for the moment...

The Birth of a Black Man

Its not as common as you think, birthing a black man.  I saw it yesterday. I saw with my very own eyes my wife birthed out a black man.  Sure, this is our second child, and so I knew what to expect from the process.  The laboring, the water breaking, the pain and anguish, then jubilation.  However, I can't deny the fact that my wife, who is white create a black boy.

This black boy was born innocent.  Not of course in the eternal damnation way! He'll have to say to Jesus the same way we all have to accept or reject Him in his heart.  What I mean is that my son, my Black son has no guilty verdict on him.  No one has suspected him of violence or danger. No one can blame him for doing anything but being cute, and hungry.

I'm laying right next to him, like right now and its cool.  He's so chill and so in the comfort of his family. True innocence.

Then I think about the fact that this may be one of the few moments in his life where he will be looked upon and only the best of interpretations will be labeled to him. He will experience days of struggle and confusion.  He will be assumed on. His parents won't completely understand his world. He's 100% Black and 100% White and of a varied percentage being accepted along the spectrum.

As I watch him rest, I can help but to think about the amount of energy he has to conserve to deal with this world. Partition energy to deal with joy, and pain, bigots and apologist of Black culture, I mean, what's a young man to do?!

Happy Birthday, young black boy, we wish nothing but the best, we are aware that the worst is yet to come, but we hope you can persevere through the growing pans that are ahead of you, in order to leave your mark on the world you are destined to leave. Daddy.

Endangered Species: A Ferguson Reflection

ENDANGERED defined:

Endangered but Protected...

[en-deyn-jerd]

Adjective

1. threatened with danger
• "endangered lives of the coal miners"
2. threatened with extinction
• "the bald eagle may be endangered"
3. threatened with danger and with extinction
• "African American men are endangered"

That's how I felt when I woke up the day after the decision that Officer Wilson was no indicted on any charges for the death of Michael Brown.  I watch online from the aerial view how the town of Ferguson had smoke and fire billowing from it.  I watch how I-44 was blocked off and hundreds of people protesting their anger and frustrations about the verdict.  My stomach started to sour and my mind began to malaise.  I began to feel that "not again" feeling.  African American males are punished with death.  

My wife is 15 weeks pregnant.  We don't know the temptation of the baby, but today I find myself tempted to pray, "Lord, let it not be a boy." That's pretty messed up huh? The fact that I don't want a son growing up in this society with his skin tone and with the reputation that this country has with its treatment of Black men is clouding up the God-Given joy of having a child.  He would look like me, and I today would be both proud and ashamed.  Proud that something like that could be produced from my wife and I, and ashamed because I will feel limited in my ability to protect him.

He would be on the endangered list, as I am.

My lament isn't a cover-up for anger, because I am definitely angry.  Very angry! I keep playing the scenario in my mind, wondering how 6-10 shots could come off as self-defense.  I tried to figure out how an unarmed man would reach into the car of a police officer knowing the consequences.  I wonder HOW IN THE HELL would anybody who is of African descent and who's ancestors have been here for more than 3 generations would try to ACCOST a police officer, UNARMED WITHOUT THINKING THAT DEADLY RETALIATION WOULD NOT HAPPEN?!?! I've grown up here and there's NO WAY, NOOO WAAAY we as Black folk are taught that to be correct behavior.  It goes against the DIRECTIVE of SURVIVAL of the BLACK COMMUNITY to do such a thing! 

But that is what is believed.  A jury believed it.  They judged the circumstance like they were replay officials for a a football game. No indisputable evidence.

Of course there's no disputable evidence.  The strongest disputable evidence is buried 6 feet in Ferguson, MO.  The dead can't testify, give an account, communicate a different narrative.  The cop has the benefit of the doubt, the system on his side, and the deeply passed privileged that he works on the side of the law, which protects everyone and everyone should adhere to.  The problem with this law is that no every feels protected by it, and adherence has caused death just as much as crime seems to.

I'm not excited to be a black man today.  I'm nervous to birth one. I'm hopeless to encourage one.  I'm nauseous to know that others may assume me dangerous or justifiably killed one day.

Endangered and Not Protected

If I had a wish, it would be for those who are not African American or Black to have 24 hours as one. In those 24 hours they would experience without death all of the fears and concerns that many of us experience on a daily basis.  They would have the ability to hear all of the assumptions unspoken about themselves.  They would see every concerning glance, every car door locked, every purse clutched, every flinch when they reach out, every eye roll when they aren't moving or doing things quick enough. That'd be an interested experiment...

Jesus and Michael Brown

Hello friends and Central Region community,

I’ve been slowly processing what’s been going on in the Ferguson community and how this might affect our region and students.  So many things have already been said about it, the ways we need to listen, and lament, and learn.  I am truly grateful for the leadership in our community on so many levels, so I don’t want to restate what has already been said.  I just want to share my narrative and hopefully we can see from it together what the Lord might be doing in the midst of this tragedy.

I grew up in a pretty violent place in Chicago, IL, the notable “Southside” of Chicago, where violence this year has been notably high.  There are so many stories I could share with about the how the police interacted with the community.  Even now, as I ponder watching police walk people across the street on hands and knees, ordered by the police to do so, it leaves me in confusion.  If they were gang members, why not just leave them there in the open area for other police to arrive? Why not set up cones so they wouldn’t get hit on a four way major street?  I struggle with wondering why the relationship between the police and people where I grew up was so bitter.

Yet, I’ve seen the other side, where violence in the community became so rampant, you just had to wonder if normal force would be helpful.  I remember seeing a man run from one high-rise building (16 story low income housing) to another.  The first building housing a rival gang from the one the man ran into.  It became known that this man was a drug-addict who stole drugs from the rival gang leader.  This could have become a major gang war, but an eerie community based solution occurred.  The other gang brought the man out of the building and together…both gangs beat the man to death right up under my 3^rd story window.  Rocks, big rocks, punches, and a bike was even thrown on this man.  It was literally a stoning of a person! There must have been 50-70 people out there. I remember as an 11 year old, wondering how could I survive in an area with such twisted justice?  For myself at that time, I would’ve loved to seen police come in, make everyone lie on the ground, just to stop the level of violence that was happening.

Then, there’s the personal experience, where I was bringing home pizza where I lived, and police began to swarm the building, most likely trying to catch drug dealers in the moment.  As I was coming in, the police stopped me, put me against the wall spread my hands, and began checking the pizza for “drugs.” Right at that moment, some bullies came through, saw what was happening and started to go through my pockets and rob me at the same time.  I call out to the police, and they just say, “Don’t you move!” So while I was being “searched” I was robbed at the same time while police were present!

Wouldn’t that throw off your understanding of what it means for police to “serve and protect?” So now, we have another controversy, we have the Michael Brown shooting, and once again, we are seeing the world split up.  What are we to do as a community?  What would Jesus do?

I think the question, “What would Jesus do” is not the right question.  The question I think we should focus on is, “What has Jesus done?” What has Jesus done to solve violence, and pain, and suffering? What has Jesus done to bring healing, and freedom? Everything; Jesus has done everything.  His death is why we live.  His suffering is why we are free.  His atonement is why we are free from penalty.  We look towards Jesus first before we look to the community, the police, the media, and blogs for answers. 

We as believers can show the world what it truly means to repent and believe in something greater than our circumstances.  We have the opportunity to show those affected and hurt by this situation that the light of the world is here and darkness cannot comprehend it (John 1).  This is the InterVarsity Central Region scripture focus:

“Therefore, since we have such a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every weight that hinders, and sin that so easily entangles us.  And let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.  Who for the joy set before him endured the cross despising its shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the thrown of God. Consider him, who endured much from sinful man, so that you will not grow weary and be fainthearted. (Hebrews 12: 1-3)”

The “therefore” can be seen as “since the circumstances are as such.” Which means, since we see pain, and brokenness and bitterness, and hatred in our world, there WE who follow the Lord of Light in the midst of this darkness, since we are the ones in the kingdom of light, a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight that hinders.  And what is the weight? The weight of this world, the weight of sin, the weight of the tragedy of Michael Brown, which is not to say “do not deal with is” but place the weight where it belongs, on Jesus and on the cross. 

Every weight and sin, and yes, let us not deny the fact that sin in involved.  Sinful people, men, women, blog, thoughts, arguments, comments, commentators, abounds! We can become entangled by the sin of gossip from this situation.  But where sin is, grace can demolish it! The grace of God has the power to topple the current narrative, which is that we as a people hate each other.  Grace says, God’s power is stronger than our hatred, and even more so, it’s overwhelming.  Jesus says, hate me instead of each other, and watch me put an end to sin, and give you the freedom to tear down the walls of hostility (Ephesians 2). 

We as the Christian community are Spiritual Marathon Runners.  We are given endurance from on high and the pacing set by Jesus, who runs before us to endure such suffering.  The race we are running is a race won.  We are going for second place, because Jesus has already completed it! That means, sin, which is trying to run the same place, cannot win.  The brokenness of this world CANNOT and WILL NOT win, praise Jesus.

Do you understand that Jesus has run this race with joy before him? Jesus was constantly focused on the father in heaven? Why not we, as the cloud of witnesses set our sights there as well?  The Lord will have dominion over pain, over Ferguson, over Missouri, the US, and the world.  Let us focus on the one whose reign will reign on this earth. 

Jesus has run this race, though knowing that suffering was a part of it.  The world could have been eradicated because of our sin and brokenness. God has just cause, even without Ferguson to destroy us, but his plan is redemption and justice, not purely destruction. 

Jesus watches us, and cheers for us, and intercedes for us, and he says, “FINISH IT FRIENDS!” Jesus isn’t just interested in only himself finishing the race, though because we are on his team, we WIN! Jesus wants each of his citizens to finish as well.  He wants people who will SUMMIT the mountain not faint hearted or weary, but full of vitality and hope.

Let us use that vitality and hope to run the race of speaking truth of the Gospel in the Michael Brown situation, because it may the only the Gospel they see through the gossip.  It’s easy how we can confuse the two, and our dying world needs the right prescription.  I hope this letter of service and love, and encouragement to our community. May the Lord reign in Ferguson, MO, in the family of Michael Brown, on our campuses in the Central Region, the US, and in the world.

Come Lord Jesus,

Tony Gatewood

Child of God

Central Region Intervarsity Staff

Momentary Minority-Ness

time to get it out!

I got that itch again...about to EXHALE!

Makes sense though...I usually get the itch whenever I feel stress.  It's been a pretty hectic season, not overwhelming, but hectic, so I decided to get some thoughts out.

OKAY, so yesterday I had the opportunity to be a part of a black panel discussion at a college campus.  It was a class of all white students with a white teacher wanting to learn about black people and black culture.  Sounds weird?  On just the surface, its a little alarming!  What do they want to ask? Is this a "Show and Tell" for black people? I'd have to say that the teacher seemed genuine enough about it, and I'm always down for a little racial drama to absorb, so a good friend ask me if I'd do it, and I said yes.

Now, as we began our discussing with each other, roundtable style, each white person in the room got to share about the racial experiences they've had in life.  Now, I'm not going to share their responses out of respect to the vulnerability they showed, but I did notice a common trend among them all.  When asked about their racial experiences, they also mentioned a time where THEY felt like a minority.

I found this very intriguing, because they each communicated about a time when they were the only person of their race in a situation and how they felt like a minority.  So, for me this begged the question, "About how many hours out the day do you feel like a minority?" Some answered, "just that time" or something close to that.  Then I asked the 5 black panelist the same question, "About how many hours out of the day do you feel like a minority?" With a chuckle, each said something to the effect of "when isn't there a time?"

This got me going and thinking...I've heard many of my white friends speak about being a minority, having a minority experience, as close to an ethnic/racial experience they can.  Most of them who do say this cite a racial experience, not that they say, "well, one time I was the only left handed person int he room.  I felt lonely and awkward."  I don't hear that.

picture is from www.blackpeopleloveus.com

My response to the groups of people in there was to say, "Actually, what you experience is what I'd call MOMENTARY MINORITY-NESS. It's a brief dip into the realization that your cultural ways of doing things and saying things isn't normalized  Its a moment that happens every so often where you realize you're different, and you see communities of others that are different.  But what is, is just a moment."

What I said to them, and what I'm communicating here right now is that speaking about being a minority can be not only subjective (anyone can find out what makes them unqiue, then in term look at that uniqueness and consider themselves alone/a minority), but for many who's privilege doesn't bring them that point of minority-ness daily, is a small plunge.

That affect of this can sometimes be the undervaluing of someone who truly feels and lives life as a minority.  Of course, I deal with ethnic/racial minority issues in my life mostly, so I can only really speak from that point.  But, I STRUGGLE when I hear white people say they are a minority, and then used that small sample to articulate what they may feel as "true for all people who are minorities."

"I'm not fitting in well" says the peanut butter and chocolate ones...

I wake up: "I'm a minority."  I brush my teeth, "I'm a minority."  I go to a African American literature at the university here, "I'm NOT a minority!" Once I step out the class, "I'm a minority again."  I go to church, "I'm a minority.' Do you understand the stress of thinking about how you will articulate yourself to others so much? EXHAUSTION!

"Well Tony, What do you want us to do" I imagine being asked by my white friends.  I can tell you. 

1. For one, the best way to relate to another minority about their experience isn't to share with them your only experience not being a majority.  The opposite happens and we actually see how privileged you are, not how empathetic you are.
2.  If someone sees your experience and says that not close to what they are experiencing, don't get offended! White culture values folks with expertise, and minorities are EXPERTS on being a minority.
3. Empathy could work this way as well, "That sucks! I'm really sorry that is your life-long experience." or, "Hey, any time you wanna vent, I'll listen and not qualify your words or try to get you to rationalize your experience."

That's a good start.