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| time to get it out! |
Makes sense though...I usually get the itch whenever I feel stress. It's been a pretty hectic season, not overwhelming, but hectic, so I decided to get some thoughts out.
OKAY, so yesterday I had the opportunity to be a part of a black panel discussion at a college campus. It was a class of all white students with a white teacher wanting to learn about black people and black culture. Sounds weird? On just the surface, its a little alarming! What do they want to ask? Is this a "Show and Tell" for black people? I'd have to say that the teacher seemed genuine enough about it, and I'm always down for a little racial drama to absorb, so a good friend ask me if I'd do it, and I said yes.
Now, as we began our discussing with each other, roundtable style, each white person in the room got to share about the racial experiences they've had in life. Now, I'm not going to share their responses out of respect to the vulnerability they showed, but I did notice a common trend among them all. When asked about their racial experiences, they also mentioned a time where THEY felt like a minority.
I found this very intriguing, because they each communicated about a time when they were the only person of their race in a situation and how they felt like a minority. So, for me this begged the question, "About how many hours out the day do you feel like a minority?" Some answered, "just that time" or something close to that. Then I asked the 5 black panelist the same question, "About how many hours out of the day do you feel like a minority?" With a chuckle, each said something to the effect of "when isn't there a time?"
This got me going and thinking...I've heard many of my white friends speak about being a minority, having a minority experience, as close to an ethnic/racial experience they can. Most of them who do say this cite a racial experience, not that they say, "well, one time I was the only left handed person int he room. I felt lonely and awkward." I don't hear that.
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| picture is from www.blackpeopleloveus.com |
What I said to them, and what I'm communicating here right now is that speaking about being a minority can be not only subjective (anyone can find out what makes them unqiue, then in term look at that uniqueness and consider themselves alone/a minority), but for many who's privilege doesn't bring them that point of minority-ness daily, is a small plunge.
That affect of this can sometimes be the undervaluing of someone who truly feels and lives life as a minority. Of course, I deal with ethnic/racial minority issues in my life mostly, so I can only really speak from that point. But, I STRUGGLE when I hear white people say they are a minority, and then used that small sample to articulate what they may feel as "true for all people who are minorities."
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| "I'm not fitting in well" says the peanut butter and chocolate ones... |
I wake up: "I'm a minority." I brush my teeth, "I'm a minority." I go to a African American literature at the university here, "I'm NOT a minority!" Once I step out the class, "I'm a minority again." I go to church, "I'm a minority.' Do you understand the stress of thinking about how you will articulate yourself to others so much? EXHAUSTION!
"Well Tony, What do you want us to do" I imagine being asked by my white friends. I can tell you.
- For one, the best way to relate to another minority about their experience isn't to share with them your only experience not being a majority. The opposite happens and we actually see how privileged you are, not how empathetic you are.
- If someone sees your experience and says that not close to what they are experiencing, don't get offended! White culture values folks with expertise, and minorities are EXPERTS on being a minority.
- Empathy could work this way as well, "That sucks! I'm really sorry that is your life-long experience." or, "Hey, any time you wanna vent, I'll listen and not qualify your words or try to get you to rationalize your experience."
As usual, excellent points Tony! Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteNice job Tony. I think the reason White people talk about times they experienced momentary minority-ness is that it is such a jarring experience they've never had to deal with before. They probably have the same experience when there aren't racial components to the situation (like the only introvert in a small group of extroverts) but we rarely apply the word minority to that kind of situation...I think folks are more apt to talk about isolation or loneliness (which should be helpful to them in understanding the minority experience). I also think there are times when race may be part of the "moment" but it is often so mixed in with other cultural factors that people don't realize they are experiencing more than just being a racial minority. That happened to us when we moved from New England to LA. I was usually the only white person in the grocery store or Laundromat, but my feelings of being a minority were probably more driven by the immense cultural difference between the East coast and the West coast, than being the only White person in the room. Thanks for your thinking on these topics.
ReplyDeleteI agree Donna. There are times where that's the case. I think that is the rationale that most folk in the majority culture. My fear is that, if there a moment where something could be learned (not becoming an expert about it), that it could be lost. The cultural differences makes sense, though a argument could be made if the cultural differences and ethnic differences are similar as well. I think there's a lot to explore just allowing ourselves to tarry and marinate in the place of being an ethnic minority. Believe me! I've learned tons about myself and other people that way.
DeleteTony, Thanks for writing and for providing those practical tips at the end. You are such a blessing to many.
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