Momentary Minority-Ness

time to get it out!

I got that itch again...about to EXHALE!

Makes sense though...I usually get the itch whenever I feel stress.  It's been a pretty hectic season, not overwhelming, but hectic, so I decided to get some thoughts out.

OKAY, so yesterday I had the opportunity to be a part of a black panel discussion at a college campus.  It was a class of all white students with a white teacher wanting to learn about black people and black culture.  Sounds weird?  On just the surface, its a little alarming!  What do they want to ask? Is this a "Show and Tell" for black people? I'd have to say that the teacher seemed genuine enough about it, and I'm always down for a little racial drama to absorb, so a good friend ask me if I'd do it, and I said yes.

Now, as we began our discussing with each other, roundtable style, each white person in the room got to share about the racial experiences they've had in life.  Now, I'm not going to share their responses out of respect to the vulnerability they showed, but I did notice a common trend among them all.  When asked about their racial experiences, they also mentioned a time where THEY felt like a minority.

I found this very intriguing, because they each communicated about a time when they were the only person of their race in a situation and how they felt like a minority.  So, for me this begged the question, "About how many hours out the day do you feel like a minority?" Some answered, "just that time" or something close to that.  Then I asked the 5 black panelist the same question, "About how many hours out of the day do you feel like a minority?" With a chuckle, each said something to the effect of "when isn't there a time?"

This got me going and thinking...I've heard many of my white friends speak about being a minority, having a minority experience, as close to an ethnic/racial experience they can.  Most of them who do say this cite a racial experience, not that they say, "well, one time I was the only left handed person int he room.  I felt lonely and awkward."  I don't hear that.

picture is from www.blackpeopleloveus.com

My response to the groups of people in there was to say, "Actually, what you experience is what I'd call MOMENTARY MINORITY-NESS. It's a brief dip into the realization that your cultural ways of doing things and saying things isn't normalized  Its a moment that happens every so often where you realize you're different, and you see communities of others that are different.  But what is, is just a moment."

What I said to them, and what I'm communicating here right now is that speaking about being a minority can be not only subjective (anyone can find out what makes them unqiue, then in term look at that uniqueness and consider themselves alone/a minority), but for many who's privilege doesn't bring them that point of minority-ness daily, is a small plunge.

That affect of this can sometimes be the undervaluing of someone who truly feels and lives life as a minority.  Of course, I deal with ethnic/racial minority issues in my life mostly, so I can only really speak from that point.  But, I STRUGGLE when I hear white people say they are a minority, and then used that small sample to articulate what they may feel as "true for all people who are minorities."

"I'm not fitting in well" says the peanut butter and chocolate ones...

I wake up: "I'm a minority."  I brush my teeth, "I'm a minority."  I go to a African American literature at the university here, "I'm NOT a minority!" Once I step out the class, "I'm a minority again."  I go to church, "I'm a minority.' Do you understand the stress of thinking about how you will articulate yourself to others so much? EXHAUSTION!

"Well Tony, What do you want us to do" I imagine being asked by my white friends.  I can tell you. 

1. For one, the best way to relate to another minority about their experience isn't to share with them your only experience not being a majority.  The opposite happens and we actually see how privileged you are, not how empathetic you are.
2.  If someone sees your experience and says that not close to what they are experiencing, don't get offended! White culture values folks with expertise, and minorities are EXPERTS on being a minority.
3. Empathy could work this way as well, "That sucks! I'm really sorry that is your life-long experience." or, "Hey, any time you wanna vent, I'll listen and not qualify your words or try to get you to rationalize your experience."

That's a good start.